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| image source: internet |
The entrepreneur sits in traffic
holding the steering wheel hard, like it's a dream of a better life.
The light above turns from red to green.
In a moment,
a whole thought was halved,
like an orange in the morning
and put on a plate.
The cars and trucks push forward
like a rowing team.
My passive income has drained all the water from the sea
I wanted him, he wanted me, I flipped the switch on the silver screen
the moment he held his hand in mine, I went crazy, I went blind
lost to the world now I sit
Baby Jane
taking a hit.
The weed is harsh it burns my throat
I used to sing like a bird
now I just gloat
to the bare rose bushes as I walk
in the morning
with a small dog
and a purse full of worries
I once had a giant castle
high in the clouds
hovering there
don't speak
out loud.
The colorful tulip lost its petals, but it became somehow more beautiful in the
wreckage of time.
The statues standing in the courtyard surrounded by the bees of spring
have not thought once of renegade soldiers
laughing on the soot of angel's wings
singed by fires of impunity the hellish heat has made me mad
strapped into boots and on a horse to ride headfirst into the love I
once had.
Driving in traffic and waiting in line
mastering my emotions
managing my time
longing for love
and pining for hate
lastly my fear
of showing up late
to the champagne breakfast
tripping on flowers
giving away money
owning my power
falling into a pit
of real estate
and maintaining the tall cedar trees
I planted for privacy
on the property line of my soul
I am trimming back the rose bushes
and spreading the chips
standing on the shoulders
of giants like this.
I will walk the line of Imperialism in my mind
I will not conquer only coerce
I will not tread onto anyone's soul
only put footsteps on the sands of time
dragging a stick behind me
only concerned with where I've been
and never knowing where I am going
My Lake will be my ocean
my river, my blood
my heartbeat will be the sun
shining on the land of my thoughts
as I walk each word
a step.
I was walking back from work several miles in the cold
and was probably making a grumbly face as I walked
a friend texted me later and said, "I saw you walking!"
and I thought how embarrassing for someone to see me
in my grumpiest moments when I thought I was all alone
lemon-faced against the wind
with no color in my heart
at all
so now I look around with a face of wonder
because why not
relax the skin on my face
look at the flowers
look at each thing like a miracle
the wavering ripple on a leaf
the fascinating rust on an old grey door
the way power lines lean against the pole
the movement of a jogger
the reflection in the window
the thread on the ground
the trees against the sky
a wonder all of it
all of it a wonder
and put the color back in my heart
and the relaxation back into my face
someone might see me
I might see me
I might see me
Pasture me into a cowland glory digestive tract seance of goop
Genes are riding free on bodies into DNA sperm
and I am here trying to make sense of God
Pleasure me into the stench of plastic pansies bent at funeral parlors
for forgotten Gods
Mean and scathing like dog breath growling
in my heart's junk
yard
Make me a martyr bake me a cake
make me a mixed media rake
come on top of me with all your dead leaves
it's Spring time and the butterfly kneels
in front of the altar of renewal
and my heart lifts up in song
all these broken pipes
and psalms of rust
Hear me, O God!
I fold my arms, I fold the origami
I make myself a star
I cringe each time I hear my name
spoken in that sharp tone
the edges of my origami are soft
patterned by the rain
the edge of a flower
dropping and drooping
laid across the lawn
with tiny sparkling water circles
strewn about like galaxies
across the canvas of muted color
I walk on the sidewalks of Rogers Park
each path a new destination
each garden a new world
Play like a child in the sand building castles and caves and rivers and ribbons swing swords invisible wildly wielding The blood and bones ...
