I grappled with the question I heralded the pain of not knowing what I always thought was accurate and the main reason that I covered it up was that I was afraid of the way that you would look at me if you felt that you got played. The mayor of the city of the beating of my heart is out to lunch and his desk is full of papers and layered stuff while the secretary is burning up another cigarette I went into his drawers and found the money to make this bet, that I would rise and remember the fear inside my heart and crush it like an orange peel each time that it might start. I focused on the fading light at sunset just to see the tiny bit of hope that is still alive in me.